After this knowledge of "I am" came about, I then identified myself with this body and mind. Thereafter, started the suffering for this entity that is called "me". It is obvious that both the body and the mind are subject to significant changes. The mind itself is always jumping from one topic to another- also called the "monkey mind" since it jumps from one object to another- always restless. It is only during moments of extreme happiness or life threatening fear that the mind is temporarily "fasting" or stilled. In that stillness, there is peace.
The "I am" is the primary concept followed by the " I am the body" concept and thereafter came "my world" and associated concepts. Years later, when the objects of perception would not bring any lasting peace, this entity called "me" became a "seeker"- a "seeker" of peace and started practicing hatha yoga initially and subsequently went deeper into the philosophy of Raja Yoga. Despite meditative practices which gave a temporary state of peace, it was always the return to "my world" which was inevitable, which resulted in the loss of the peace. As a result, the entity called "me' was once again submerged in the problems associated with life in the world.
For no reason whatsoever, the inner Sadguru guided this entity called "me" to the eternal Knowledge laid out by Nisargadatta Maharaj, Shankaracharya, and Ramana Maharishi. Initially, the entity called "me" was hoping to obtain something from their teachings, so that one day sometime in the future, the "me" would be "liberated (moksha)" or "enlightened" or "Self-realization (whatever that meant)" and then there would be no more problems of life and neither its ups and downs. It would be all an utopia.
But the inner Sadguru had better plans for this "me"!! It became obvious that the "seeker" was just another concept among the many concepts. The "seeker" that the entity called "me" thought it was, wanted something that it did not have- the peace, enlightenment, etc. But the "seeker" itself was transient as its appearance depended entirely on consciousness. The "seeker" or the "me" could not claim to have any substance of independent nature whatsoever, apart from the consciousness. The "seeker" or the entity called "me", was after all an appearance or an object like all other objects in consciousness. The entity called "me" was actually just a concept in the mind and it was impossible to find it anywhere.
Upon further investigation, it became very clear (to "no-one" really) that what is actually the universal and the only Subject was creating this phantom object called "me"( identified with the body-mind psychosomatic apparatus) as an appearance in Itself (consciousness) and this object was similar to all other objects ( humans, animals, trees, stones, the world itself). The consciousness had, for lack of a better term, misidentified itself with the body-mind psychosomatic apparatus, thereby falsely creating this entity called "me", which assumed the mantle of being the subject which was perceiving the objects other than itself. This resulted in a false "me" being apart from "you", "him", "her", "them" etc. That was obviously the cause of lot of suffering, since this "me" felt isolated from the rest of the world. The world was a threat to the "me" as it was the "other". The "me" had to somehow protect its interests against what it perceived as "others". With the dropping off of the false entity called "me", the "seeker" became the sought. The "seeker" itself was a false entity, a concept, and all the search was going on in the mind!
In the absence of the "me", there is just pure being. I cannot be this or that, I can only BE.
