As quoted in this blog in the past, the death of someone you love or know is an opportunity to solve this puzzle of who you are. A friend of this author recently passed away and hence this post. One must question " who is it that passed away?". The body is still there in the coffin - so how come everyone says "he is no longer here"? You must question " where did he go?" and "for someone to go, it is evident that he came from somewhere in the first place - where?". And, so on and so forth, the questioning and inquiry must continue until a satisfactory answer comes to you. Before you set forth on investigating someone else, is it not essential to investigate your self? So, let us look at who you are.
Your story started after the knowledge "I am" arose spontaneously. Thereafter the knowledge "I am" became associated with the body and the various thought processes - continuously changing the identity based on the thoughts and feeling and emotions. As a result, there is now a concept that there is actually "an entity" that somehow can change situations that arise spontaneously. This entity is who you think you are. Situations that are interpreted by this entity as pleasant are pursued with the hope that the feelings of pleasantness or happiness will endure without an end. On the other hand, situations that are interpreted and perceived by the mind as being unpleasant are attempted to be changed so that they may either disappear altogether or altered to make it more pleasant.
This roller coaster ride of ups and downs in feelings, emotions, and thoughts is what one considers unacceptable. As a result, this "entity", lets call it "me", then tries hard to change what is essentially normal into something that fits with his or her concept of what should be. Changing what is to what should be. What should be is based on the concepts of each individual entity. Some entities may pray to a God asking for a change to make the situation pleasant or to make it go away. Others may obsess about the situation endlessly, coming up with various new ideas on how to change the situation. Still others may simply want to forget about the unpleasant situation and resort to various practices including using drugs or alcohol or indulging in material excesses or bodily pleasures or other diversions. Despite all of these, the situation still persists or changes of its own will. If it changes according to one's desires, there may be the false assumption that it was because of what one did to change it. If however the situation does not change according to one's desires, then there is a tendency to blame someone or something for it. One goes through this same cycle innumerable times. But the idea that this entity called "me" is somehow still in control of all the thoughts, feelings and emotions, and thereby the situations that give rise to these, remains.
In all of these changing situations, one is more obsessed about the thoughts and feelings and the situation itself rather than the one who is aware of them. One thereby fails to analyze the fact that everything is just happening in awareness. Happening without a subject or an object. Just happening. When the analysis is complete, one will always reach the conclusion that all that is happening is just happening and the best answer is acceptance of what is. There is no one and nothing to change. Just accepting. Yes, and that includes accepting experiencing the loss of someone close to you as an inevitable event among the many events in what one often calls "my life".
