We are back to talking about you. Yes, "you", that you are used to saying as "I". That same "I", the first person, which you have taken for granted and never bothered to investigate. You may say "Pray, what has that got to do with my search for God or inner peace?". The answer may surprise you since it has everything to do with your search for inner peace. In fact, it is upon discovering the True Nature of "I", that you will find what you have been looking for all this while. Some may come across this essay out of curiosity and walk away with some wonderment and bewilderment. Others may spend some time thinking about the "I" and get back to whatever else they were doing. Yet, a few of you who read this will not stop till you get the answer to the question " Who am I?". Before we go any further, there is a disclosure or disclaimer to be made by this author. BE WARNED: The search for the mysterious "I" shall draw you in till you disappear. Now, are you ready for the journey of discovery?
We look to science or philosophy to give us answers about the world that we live in. In fact, we look to science or philosophy to give us answers about ourselves. That is because we consider ourselves to be this body. To be precise, depending on whether you live in the East or the West, what we consider to be "I' or this entity that claims to exist in this body, is somewhere in the upper half of the body. If you are from the Eastern parts of the world, you may point to the area of the heart or the solar plexus when you say "I". On the other hand, if you are from the Western parts of the world, you are convinced that this entity called "me" or "I" is somewhere in the space behind the eyes and between the ears. This "I" takes ownership of this body in a way that convinces all that not only is this "I" in the body but also owns the body just like you would own a car or a house. It is therefore common in all languages to say "My body" or "My hand" or "My heart", just like one would say "My car", or "My house" etc. This "I" also will claim responsibility for only some of the actions of the body. For instance, people may say "I am eating" or "I am breathing" or "I am growing out my hair". Yet, this "I" will not claim to some actions like the beating of the heart or the pumping of the blood by the heart. You will not hear people say "I am pumping the blood in the heart"! Instead, it is common to say "My heart is pumping the blood", just like you may say, "My car is running well" or "My air conditioner pumps out cold air". Despite these clear signals to the mystery of the entity called "I" in the spoken language, pointing to the confused identity of "I", there is still a strong association of the "I" with the body. The reason is that since the time we were very young children, we have been fed this concept of being the body. The mother and father, will repeatedly correct a young child speaking in the third person. When a child says "John is hungry" or "John wants to go potty", the parents will correct him by teaching him to say " I am hungry" or "I want to go potty". Over the years, teachers and society reinforce the idea that this "I" is indeed the body and is existing somewhere in the body. By the time you are reading this, you are absolutely sure (and perhaps confused!) that you are indeed the body.
Yet, the rare one will question the location of this "I" and will start the inquiry into its very existence as an entity. Assuming it is somewhere in the region of the brain or the head, when one opens up the skull, there is nowhere that one can find "me". Of course, it is unlikely you will open up your own skull to look for "I"! Whether it is the scientist or the pathologist looking at the brain or a neurosurgeon looking at a live and functioning brain, the location of this entity called "me" or "I" remains a mystery. In fact, it is like opening up the transistor radio. All children are enamored by the sound of a person emanating from the radio. In fact, most children imagine a person inside the radio who is speaking. Yet, when the radio is opened up or dismantled, there is no person inside. In the same way, when one searches for the entity that claims to do the body actions, one is unable to find an exact location for it.
With this type of reasoning, one should go about looking for the "I". It is only when one has a sincere desire to complete this mission, will the Guru appear out of nowhere and lead you to the Source of the I. It will become completely clear that the one who says "I" is not a separate individual encased in a body with two eyes and ears and one mouth, but indeed a Universal "I" without shape or form, a non-entity, whose existence cannot be denied and at the same time is neither in the body nor outside the body. A Non-entity that is everywhere and yet nowhere, a Non-entity that is all and none. A Non-entity that is all objects and yet is not an object.
Yes, indeed, I am a mystery. Yet, I will reveal Myself to anyone who is sincere in the search for Me. For I am the Guru AND the disciple. I am NOT an individual and yet I am ALL individuals. In fact, I am ALL there IS.
