If Only I could Kill My Ego

As you may be aware by reading through the Advaita literature, that a lot of advice is given on how it is important to kill the ego as the means of Self Realization. Let us look at this topic in our discussion today. The ego is nothing but the "I-thought" or the idea of being an individual. In fact, the ego and the mind are one and the same. Why? The first thought which is the basis of all other thoughts is the thought- "I". When the first person, I, arises, all other thoughts arise and are all linked to this primary thought - "I". Therefore, it is essential to decipher the source of this very first thought, or the "I- thought" as the way to realizing one's True Nature or Self Realization as it is called. The ego is the first person, the I, or the individual that one believes oneself to be. The ego makes one believe that he or she is a separate entity with substance and its own independent existence.

The very idea that you being the ego, will somehow go about and kill the ego is itself ludicrous.  There is no doubt that the ego trying to kill itself would be a futile exercise since it would be similar to suicide, though not physically. Well, that is not the goal of Self Realization, certainly!  If all who have Realized their Self would be dead, then there should have been no one to pass on this Knowledge to others? As Ramana Maharshi has said, the ego trying to kill the ego is similar to a thief pretending to be the policeman and wanting to catch the thief. There can be nothing more ridiculous. But, despite this very obvious statement, many a seeker still wants to be deluded into believing that somehow the ego can be controlled or killed.  Because of this misunderstanding, the seeker will try to somehow seek out a method (or sadhana) to do so. After going around in circles, as would be not surprising considering the very nature of the goal in mind, the seeker becomes frustrated and helpless. Many others will say that Advaita teaching is impractical and still others may say that it is a fatalistic philosophy.  Unfortunately, many a seeker has been led astray because of misunderstanding of the teachings.

This statement about the ego needs clarification for many. The ego cannot and should not be sought out for destruction in some way. Instead, it is essential for one to find out if the ego has any existence apart from the consciousness.  Does the ego have any substance or independent nature apart from consciousness? Is it not true that you have to be conscious to know you exist as an individual? In this realm of consciousness, the idea of being a first person- "I", arises. This "I" is nothing but the thought- I, or the ego. A thought has no substance. Look for it and SEE for yourself.  A thought has no substance and has no independent existence apart from consciousness.  When there are no thoughts including the "I-thought", you still exist. Try it and see. Stop all thoughts even for a moment. You do not fall apart.

When sincerely inquired into, the ego is like a ghost. It vanishes like the ghost which never existed in the first place. And yet, there is no denying that there is awareness or the sense of being without being this or that. This stillness, which is pure beingness, is experienced by all when the "I-thought" subsides, however transient it may be. So, the question finally arises, why and how would you want to kill something that doesn't exist?  Why kill the ego when it is unreal and has no existence apart from consciousness? Why not instead investigate and find out the nature of the ego and realize that it is like a ghost? How can you kill a ghost?  So, give up the idea of killing the ego or the mind, and instead focus on inquiring into the nature of the ego or the mind.

Communicating Truth

There are several ways in which the Truth can be communicated to the seeker. For those of you who are new to the teachings of Advaita Vedanta, it may perhaps be beneficial to familiarize yourself with them before trying to understand the matter being discussed below. While it is absolutely true that no practice or sadhana is really necessary for Self Realization, for most of the seekers, a level of mental preparedness is essential to grasp the pointers to the Truth. There are several methods to improve the one pointedness or focus of the mind on only one object so as to filter out all unnecessary distractions for the mind.  This one pointedness or determination of the mind is essential for the arrow of the pointer to strike the target. These methods would again depend on the nature of the mind of the seeker and level of maturity of the seeker. The methods include prayer, meditation, chanting (japa) or breath control (pranayama).  It is beyond the scope of today's discussion to address all these methods and the reader is advised to inquire about the same in the many exhaustive works of Vedanta already available.

This discussion is regarding the pointers from the Guru when the seeker asks the Guru about the Ultimate Truth.  This is true of seekers who have perhaps already exhausted all other avenues of reaching the Ultimate goal and have come to the Guru in desperation and hope to be finally liberated. Generally, depending on the level of maturity of the mind of the seeker, the Jnani (Realized one) will try to point him/her to the Truth. The Jnani can know, based on the questions that the seeker asks as well as the responses or answers to questions from the seeker, as to the level of maturity of the seeker. There are basically two methods of communication in this world. One is through the medium of silence and the other is through the medium of language and words or gestures, and the second is through silence. For most of you readers, the first method may seem a bit strange as to be even mentioned. Since, we are addressing this matter in the state of duality, remember that opposites or dyads are the nature of duality. What is silence without sound and what is sound without silence?

The Guru/ Jnani may decide to convey the message through silence or the look of Grace. Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi is a well known for using this method of conveying the Truth. It is a powerful method with immediate results for the mature seeker who is ready. To give an analogy, if the wood is dry and ready, a spark is all it takes for it to burn immediately. On the other hand, if the wood is only partially dry, it takes a little while for it to catch the fire and may need several attempts to light it. A wood that is still wet, will need more time for it to dry before the spark can even attempt to get it to burn. In the same way, the state of mind will determine if the pointer from the Guru will achieve immediate results or if more time is needed. In the method of silence, all it needs is for the Guru to look into the eyes of the seeker and the seeker is no more. The seeker becomes one with the Guru and the message gets through.

The other method of communication is through the medium of words or language. Since most seekers are immersed in this state of duality and language is the medium of duality (the speaker and the listener), this method is likely to work for the majority. Shree Nisargadatta Maharaj is an example of a Jnani who exploited this method of communication. After all, it does not matter how the message gets through to the seeker, the goal of the Guru is to make sure that it gets through. Even if the message from the Guru does not light the fire right away, in due course of time it will. The words of the Guru will never go to waste on the ears of a sincere and determined seeker. It is just a matter of time before the seed shall sprout, as the Maharaj used to say.

No Time for Realization

The idea of being a separate and independent entity called "me" is the reason why one thinks that some effort and action is required for Self Realization. In reality, the Self is already Realized. You know you are, right now and right here. Yet, this simple fact is ignored by almost all seekers since they have invested so heavily in the idea of a separate entity.  They strongly believe that some form of tapas or ritualistic action or path would have to be followed to experience the state of the Self. The concept of time is an essential element in the concept of karma. On careful analysis of one's own True Nature, it becomes evident that time is but a concept.

Come to think of it, if that Real State of Self is to be experienced at some point in the future through some path, it should exist now as much as it should in the future.  The fact that you say you cannot experience the Self now would amount to saying that the Self is non-existent at one time and existent at another time. Since the Real State should be present at all times (the past, present and future), the very idea of the Self not being experienced now but at some point in the future would negate Its Reality. A  state which comes at one point of time and goes away at another point of time cannot be the Final or Real State since that would not be eternal and unchanging.  However blissful the state may be, it cannot be Eternal if it is only experienced intermittently or at some point of time.  The Real and Eternal State of the Self just IS. It always IS. There is no question of coming and going for the Self. The very thought that the natural state of the Self has been lost and therefore will be found through tapas is false.

So, you may ask, what must the seeker do in that case?  We come back to square one as to 'who is the seeker who wants to know the Self?'.  It is not a question of knowing the Self.  On the contrary, it is a question of knowing the real identity of the seeker, the "me". The seeker has only to establish the falsehood of being a seeker. Through careful inquiry and discrimination of the Real from the false, the seeker must realize that he/she is a non-entity. The Self which is self shining will be self evident, as soon as the false "me" is removed.

As Ramana Maharshi once said, "After understanding theoretically that the Self is non-dual, and after staggering again and again in one's efforts to attain the practical experience of the real Self, when finally one's mental efforts subside, the knowledge which then shines in the heart is the nature of that Reality."

Devotion After Realization

Realization is spontaneous. There is actually nothing any one does or can do to "attain" Realization. For, in reality, there is no individual entity apart from the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient ONE.  So, where is the question of a separate entity if all is ONE. In that case, the topic of today's discussion is an oxymoron, isn't it? It seems to be a total contradiction of what is just said above. So, why is it important to have devotion even after so-called Realization?

While Realization of one's own True Nature is effortless, becoming established or abiding in the Reality is not so. The pull of Maya (illusion) is very strong. All of this is Maya. This discussion and the quest for Realization is all part of Maya. The Ego is a ghost but a strong ghost. It has established its identity and strength over time and there is no way the Ego is giving up without a fight. In fact, this is well established in all ancient mythological stories as the fight between the good and the evil. The evil in this case would be the Ego. Strangely, it is the ego fighting the ego, since this entire play is happening in the mind (which is nothing but the ego itself!). Confusing? Well, this is where the ego eventually wins over if not guarded against. The mind will create all types of thoughts which will doubt the very Realization.  While one may have an Understanding, the trap of the Ego is ever present.  True Realization comes when the Ego does not rise up anymore.

This is where the Guru comes to the rescue as always. Constant devotion to the Guru is a must to remain established in Reality. Constant devotion is no different than constant attention to the Guru. Even though the Guru may be thought of as a form (Saguna), it is intuitively known that the Guru is the formless Light who is within all (Nirguna). Remember that all forms and manifestation arise from the formless Unmanifest. There is no difference between form and formless. The formless is the Satguru. For the mind, it may be easy to express devotion to the Guru with a form. It does not matter so long as devotion is directed towards the Guru. Praying to the Guru and having one's attention directed towards the Guru at all times is absolutely essential in remaining established in one's own Reality.

May the Satguru pull you within into the Ocean of Bliss and Peace.

The author remains eternally grateful and pays his obeisance at the feet of the Satguru, who in the manifest form appeared as Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj to reveal the Truth.

Nothing is Simpler than Seeing one's own Self

It is indeed amazing how a Guru can show the clearest and easiest path to Liberation and yet the seeker (or more appropriately 'the ego') will refuse to see the clarity and simplicity of the message. Contrary to what many of you readers may be thinking, it is not necessary to blindly accept what the Guru is saying. Instead, it is imperative that you must question and analyze the teachings and sayings of the Guru and come to your own conclusion. This process is called inquiry into the Self. However, it is this author's opinion that complete and unquestioned faith in the Guru is the essential ingredient in the successful culmination of one's effort to attain liberation. Nothing could be simpler than SEEING one's own Self.

As Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said - " When rightly considered, nothing will be more wonderful and laughable than one's toiling very much through some sadhana(spiritual practice) to attain Self in the same manner as one toils to attain other objects, even though one really ever remains as the non-dual Self".

If one listens carefully to the above (Shravana) and then cogitates over this simple teaching (Manana) and meditates on the nature of one's own Self or internalizes one's conceptual understanding as a fact (Nidhidhyasana), then one merges with the Guru, which is Self Realization or Liberation. Ramana Maharishi started out by clearly saying "when rightly considered....." and hence He implies inquiry and questioning the very methodology i.e. sadhana or practice, by the seeker.  However, upon careful and complete inquiry, there is no doubt that one will arrive at the conclusion that it is utterly ridiculous for one to perform any kind of sadhana to BE what one already IS!! There is only ONE without a second and hence the concept of being any thing other than THAT ONE is nothing other than a concept.  A concept is not real. Only THAT is the Reality.  Why don't you investigate and SEE for your self?

The Sounds of Silence- Part 1

Your True Nature is Silence, Stillness, Unmoving, and Solid. Is it not amazing that so much has been written, discussed, talked about in so many languages about a simple subject of silence. How can words and sounds describe silence? It is almost as absurd as someone shouting to describe or emphasize silence!  The words and sounds try to carve an image of silence. But is it really possible? Silence by itself indicates the absence of sound. And yet all sounds must emerge from silence. For if there is no sound, there is silence and the interval between sounds is silence. Therefore, the best way to describe silence is to remain silent. The author's Guru, Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi was best known for this particular method of teaching about the Truth and even those who were in His presence were silenced spontaneously. There is no better way to convey the Truth than mouna (silence).

That brings us to the question of why the ancient Rishis and Sages describe the Absolute as also Silence or Stillness. They figured that if they try to describe the Absolute with any word or sound then it would not be true. Any one who has "experienced" the Truth knows fully well that there is no way to describe It.  Therefore, the only way to point a seeker of Truth in the right direction would be emphasize the absence of any sound or movement and one way to communicate the same in words is to describe it as Silence or Stillness. In fact, the production of sound is in itself a creation of duality. In the non-dual Truth, there is but nothing, just this indescribable Stillness or Silence. Yet, all creation is arising out of this Stillness or Silence. It is indeed Silence which is full of sound. It is indeed Stillness which is full of movement. Sound and movement are in consciousness but the Truth is beyond or prior to consciousness.

So, how is one to understand what the Sages were trying to convey? For this we will go to part 2 of this topic.

Caught up in the Words

Often one gets caught up in all the words to describe the Absolute. This leaves one wondering as to why he/she cannot continuously experience what is being pointed to as Bliss, Stillness, Peace etc. Unfortunately, this can lead one to utter frustration and desperation in the search for the Truth.  Simply put, the Truth is already here and always now.  What one needs to do is to simply stop identifying one's self with the body.  All one needs is to have the intuitive and deep Understanding of what is being pointed to and remove the false identification with the body.

This could not have been put more simply than by Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi who stated: "The means prescribed for securing the spiritual end, such as charity, penance, sacrifice, dharma (virtuous conduct), yoga, bhakti (devotion) and the end itself described variously as Heaven, Supreme Object, Peace, Truth, Grace, The Quiescent State, Deathless Death, True Knowledge, Renunciation, Moksha (liberation) and Bliss, are all nothing but being free from the obsession that the body is the Self. Give up regarding yourself as this despicable body and realize your Real Nature, which is one of Eternal Bliss."

Ramana Maharshi continues by saying "Seeking to know thyself while still anxious about the welfare of the body is like attempting to cross a stream with the aid of a crocodile for a raft".

What more can this author add to this utterly simple message from the Maharshi? The author remains eternally grateful to Ramana Maharshi.