Your Identity is the Cause of Suffering

 If a seeker is asked why they commenced on this spiritual journey, most if not all, will reply that they are suffering. Many may associate this feeling of suffering with emotional states of depression or anxiety  or low self esteem, or incompleteness, or absence of worldly possessions or obstacles to fulfillment of desires. They look all over for an end to whatever they are suffering from. Hence the large number of self help resources available to mankind. But even a sincere seeker, rarely if ever questions - " who is this 'I' or 'me' that is suffering?"

Not surprisingly, the answer to this very question will put an end to all suffering. Yes, all suffering.  For anyone to suffer, there must be an entity that "suffers".  Hence, it is very important to find out "who is suffering?". The answer that comes to mind immediately is - " I am suffering".  Let us break this sentence up for better understanding. There is obviously here a presumed subject - "I".  If one can focus their complete attention on figuring out this "I", a lot would be accomplished.  You may ask - " How can that be possible? ". Well, let us see.

You have taken it for granted that you are the body-mind entity.  An individual, "I" with a unique body and mind, unlike anyone else that is around.  Is this assumption correct? Can the body say it is "I"? The body is made up of the five elements - mostly water, but also minerals (earth), air, space and heat (fire). Can any of these elements say "I am" or " I exist"? Can water ever say - " I am water"? Can earth say _" I am earth"?  And so on. The body being made up of insentient elements cannot obviously say "I ".  A dead body does not say " I am dead". The body is right there, but the one saying "I" is no more.  So, who or what is this "I"? And where did this "I" go (if at all)? Would you not want to know now ?  

The Pure Consciousness does not say "I".  In deep sleep, in the absence of the body-mind, is there any feeling or sense of "I"?  However, it cannot be denied that there is an "I" that is aware of the state of sleeping. For, is it not the same "I" that is present in all the three states of waking, dream and deep sleep? Upon awakening by stating - " I slept happily", one indicates that he or she was present during the state of deep sleep.  

If the Pure Consciousness does not say "I" and the body does not say "I", would you not want to know who exactly says "I"? Or better still, find out where does this idea of "I" come from? What is absent during deep sleep is the mind which is present in the state of waking. What arises upon waking is this spontaneous arising of the "I-thought" along with the world. The first thought that arises is "I". All other thoughts are linked to this "I-thought". Can a thought be you? Or are you the one who is aware of the thoughts? 

The "I-thought" is the ego or the idea of being an individual with a body and mind. When the source of the "I-thought" is pursued, the "I-thought" vanishes thereby revealing the "I-less -I" which is self shining.  This "I-I " is not an object of perception. It is only when the false "I" ( the I-thought) upon inquiry vanishes, that the Source ( which is the "Real I") reveals itself. 

The cause of all suffering is the false identification with the body-mind entity. One falsely assumes that he or she is an individual with a body and a mind and hence suffers the vicissitudes of the body and mind. By taking something that is not you, as yourself, you have brought upon suffering.  The only way to end this suffering caused by misidentification is to find out your correct identification. This has to be done by you and none other.  Just like a sick person who can benefit only if he takes the medicine. If someone else takes the medicine the sick person still remains sick. The only way is to do Self Inquiry.

Why Seeking Can Be A Trap

We all start off as seekers. Some realize their true nature, thanks to the teachings of their Guru, and stop seeking. Some seekers having heard the words of their Guru seem to have the understanding of the teachings. Yet, they continue to remain seekers despite the understanding. Yes, it is imperative for one to be a seeker (mumukshu) at the start of the journey. That is what sparks the one-pointed desire to know the Truth. Yet, is it not the goal of every seeker to eventually end the process of seeking?

Each and every one of us is different, as different as the fingerprints. Hence, the process of realizing the Truth is different for each and every one of us. There can be several reasons as to why the process of seeking continues for many a seeker.

One of many reasons, is the desire of the seeker to experience an event similar to that of their Guru, prior to realizing the Self. Despite the Guru repeatedly pointing out that they should disregard all experiences as appearances in consciousness, and of no relevance, they still continue to hope and yearn for an experience or event. In some cases, such a problem is perpetuated by some teachers, who may keep the seeker in a perpetual cycle of feeling inadequate and incomplete. The teacher may imply that he/she has somehow attained enlightenment or realization through a process and after experiencing an "aha moment". Hearing this and knowing that they have not had a similar experience, the seeker feels inferior to the teacher or somehow inadequate or incomplete. Hence the feeling among the seekers that they too have to go through a similar process and experience an event sometime in the future. They also have the false idea that such an experience is permanent and results in eternal and everlasting bliss. The seeker cannot be entirely blamed for having such an impression. After all, many a teacher creates an impression of being always in bliss and unperturbed by the events  of the world.

Yet others may simply like the idea of continuing to be seekers in perpetuity. Although this seems ludicrous, many seekers either knowingly or unknowingly, like the sense of community and shared goals with other seekers. They internally acknowledge that realizing the Truth may result in the end of their being part of a community of seekers. They are afraid of being abandoned and shunned by the very community that they so lovingly embraced. After all envy is expected if one seeker declares that he/she has realized while others are still in the throes of struggle and suffering.

In some others, the little self (or ego) fools the seeker into thinking that he/she may never attain realization as it is reserved only for the fortunate few who have completed certain rigorous rituals or difficult processes of purification of the body and mind over the course of many decades. And yet others may be under the false impression that enlightenment or self- realization if at all possible, is something to be achieved or attained sometime in the future.

Some seekers are just too obsessed or happy with the image of themselves (as whatever) and do not want to actually give up their concept of being an individual. This is particularly true in societies where individuality is given top priority.

It is evident that there are two main culprits among many, for perpetuating the seeking. The first culprit is the false "I-thought" or the ego, which fearful of losing its validity, will play all kinds of games and scenarios in the mind of the seeker, to prevent the seeker from SEEING the Truth. The ego knows that realizing the Truth would spell the end of the ego. Such is the hold of the ego that even after apparent understanding of the reality, it continues to produce doubts and feelings of uncertainty, thereby ensuring its survival.

The other culprit is the concept of time. Time is a concept in the mind and has no reality. The concept of time gives the seeker the false impression that what he/she is seeking is not available right here and right now. The concept of time creates the impression that what is being sought can only be attained in the future through a prescribed process of doing. This sets up the seeker into refusing to believe his Guru, even when the Guru clearly explains that "what you are seeking,you already ARE".

While it is easy for some teachers to say "Just stop seeking, right here and right now", it may not ring a bell for the seeker. Even if they agree with the teacher and nod their heads, they may return home to realize that their suffering and seeking has actually not stopped. In fact, the ego has made a comeback with a vengeance. The more the seeker claims that the seeking has ended, the more the ego swells and ensures that the seeking has actually not ended. Many a times, even the seeker is unaware of the falseness of his or her claims.

There is no denying the fact that only when one starts seeking does one find. Hence, being a seeker is essential for all and as such is not avoidable. After all, seeking can in itself be frustrating if there is no goal or end in sight. But how to end the seeking?

It is important to realize that the end of seeking is different for each and every seeker. There is no "one size fits all" in realizing the Truth. Clarity comes from within to see the false as false. Realize once and for all, that there is nothing to attain or achieve. Have resolute and unwavering FAITH and DEVOTION in the Guru and constantly keep the Guru in your mind. While these may seem like yet another prescription for doing or a process, remember that the destination is the journey. As the Zen Buddhist saying goes, "before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water".

Even the seeker claiming  enlightenment or clarity is none other than a false appearance claiming to have figured out that the false is false. The ever present Awareness always IS and remains unchanged and you ARE that ordinary Awareness. Only the apparent appearances in this Awareness play this game of seeking and finding. Go figure!