What you seek in the form of knowledge has to be based on the Primary Knowledge that you exist. This Knowledge of Existence is delivered in the form of the thought 'I am". You KNOW you ARE. There is no doubt about it. You are absolutely certain about your existence without anyone telling you about it. In your Original True State, you did not know you exist and then all of a sudden this Knowledge appeared spontaneously. This knowledge or "I-consciousness" arose spontaneously in your early childhood. You took this knowledge as being true and thereafter started building a story about yourself being an entity with a body and name. The "I-consciousness" or the Knowledge 'I am' is the Primary Illusion. Based on this illusion, you have gone about accumulating more and more indirect or acquired knowledge. Never having questioned the validity of this Primary Knowledge, your quest for spiritual knowledge was pursued in the wrong direction! The spiritual knowledge or indirect knowledge is nothing but more layers of ignorance(not knowledge as you think) added upon the Primary Illusion or Primary Knowledge of "I-consciousness". Hence, despite all your claims to understanding of the pointers to your True State, you have continued to suffer because you have failed to understand this Primary Knowledge. Suffering means that you have continued to search and seek out knowledge or experiences.
It is imperative that you question as to how this Primary Knowledge or consciousness came upon you. This Primary Knowledge can be present only as long as this body form is nourished with food and maintained. When this food body disintegrates (called 'death' in common lay terms), then the Primary Knowledge departs. So, where has all your accumulated knowledge gone to? What is the use of all your accumulated indirect knowledge of the arts, spirituality, sciences etc.? What is the sum total of all your indirect knowledge and experiences? Could you have had any experience of any kind without consciousness? Is it not true therefore that all experiences are in consciousness? And is it not true that you have placed so much emphasis on the experiences and on the indirect acquired knowledge of spirituality without inquiring as to who or what is the primary experiencer? Is it not true that all your sadhana (spiritual practice) is only to perpetuate and pay homage to the acquired knowledge and experiences? Can you in all sincerity ask yourself these questions and come to conclusions?
This Primary Knowledge is time bound and body bound. Therefore it is not eternal. What you truly, truly ARE is THAT, which is ETERNAL. Eternal means that which is not born and therefore does not die, that which is timeless and therefore any thing cannot be IT. So, it is essential to analyze and understand the true nature and origins of this Primary Knowledge and having understood that it is only an illusion, an appearance bound by time, you discard it as not you. The Primary Knowledge- I am, is itself not the Truth but it is all that you have access to. Therefore, while you must pray to this Primary Knowledge as your God, you must realize that what you truly, truly ARE is Prior to this Primary Knowledge. Question this Primary Knowledge of I am. Stay with this Knowledge. Pray to this Knowledge. It will lead you to Its Source. Keep the mind focused on this Primary Knowledge, the Knowledge 'I am'. Anything else you think about is leading you away from Its Source. As this author's Guru Nisargadatta Maharaj pointed out- "Go back. Recede." Realizing that you are Prior to any knowledge or ignorance, can you take any pride in knowing who you truly, truly ARE?
What you truly, truly ARE is prior to or beyond any knowledge and ignorance. Discarding all knowledge and ignorance as not mine, I rest in my True State which is the Stateless State of THAT. I am THAT.
