The Mysterious "I"

We are back to talking about you. Yes, "you", that you are used to saying as "I".  That same "I", the first person, which you have taken for granted and never bothered to investigate. You may say "Pray, what has that got to do with my search for God or inner peace?". The answer may surprise you since it has everything to do with your search for inner peace. In fact, it is upon discovering the True Nature of "I", that you will find what you have been looking for all this while. Some may come across this essay out of curiosity and walk away with some wonderment and bewilderment. Others may spend some time thinking about the "I" and get back to whatever else they were doing. Yet, a few of you who read this will not stop till you get the answer to the question " Who am I?". Before we go any further, there is a disclosure or disclaimer to be made by this author.  BE WARNED: The search for the mysterious "I" shall draw you in till you disappear. Now, are you ready for the journey of discovery?

We look to science or philosophy to give us answers about the world that we live in. In fact, we look to science or philosophy to give us answers about ourselves. That is because we consider ourselves to be this body. To be precise, depending on whether you live in the East or the West, what we consider to be "I' or this entity that claims to exist in this body, is somewhere in the upper half of the body. If you are from the Eastern parts of the world, you may point to the area of the heart or the solar plexus when you say "I". On the other hand, if you are from the Western parts of the world, you are convinced that this entity called "me" or "I" is somewhere in the space behind the eyes and between the ears. This "I" takes ownership of this body in a way that convinces all that not only is this "I" in the body but also owns the body just like you would own a car or a house. It is therefore common in all languages to say "My body" or "My hand" or "My heart", just like one would say "My car", or "My house" etc. This "I" also will claim responsibility for only some of the actions of the body. For instance, people may say "I am eating" or "I am breathing" or "I am growing out my hair". Yet, this "I" will not claim to some actions like the beating of the heart or the pumping of the blood by the heart. You will not hear people say "I am pumping the blood in the heart"! Instead, it is common to say "My heart is pumping the blood", just like you may say, "My car is running well" or "My air conditioner pumps out cold air". Despite these clear signals to the mystery of the entity called "I" in the spoken language,  pointing to the confused identity of "I", there is still a strong association of the "I" with the body.  The reason is that since the time we were very young children, we have been fed this concept of being the body. The mother and father, will repeatedly correct a young child speaking in the third person. When a child says "John is hungry" or "John wants to go potty", the parents will correct him by teaching him to say " I am hungry" or "I want to go potty". Over the years, teachers and society reinforce the idea that this "I" is indeed the body and is existing somewhere in the body. By the time you are reading this, you are absolutely sure (and perhaps confused!) that you are indeed the body.

Yet, the rare one will question the location of this "I" and will start the inquiry into its very existence as an entity. Assuming it is somewhere in the region of the brain or the head, when one opens up the skull, there is nowhere that one can find "me". Of course, it is unlikely you will open up your own skull to look for "I"!  Whether it is the scientist or the pathologist looking at the brain or a neurosurgeon looking at a live and functioning brain, the location of this entity called "me" or "I" remains a mystery. In fact, it is like opening up the transistor radio.   All children are enamored by the sound of a person emanating from the radio. In fact, most children imagine a person inside the radio who is speaking. Yet, when the radio is opened up or dismantled, there is no person inside. In the same way, when one searches for the entity that claims to do the body actions, one is unable to find an exact location for it.

With this type of reasoning, one should go about looking for the "I". It is only when one has a sincere desire to complete this mission, will the Guru appear out of nowhere and lead you to the Source of the I. It will become completely clear that the one who says "I" is not a separate individual encased in a body with two eyes and ears and one mouth, but indeed a Universal "I" without shape or form, a non-entity, whose existence cannot be denied and at the same time is neither in the body nor outside the body. A Non-entity that is everywhere and yet nowhere, a Non-entity that is  all and none. A Non-entity that is all objects and yet is not an object.

Yes, indeed, I am a mystery. Yet, I will reveal Myself to anyone who is sincere in the search for Me. For I am the Guru AND the disciple. I am NOT an individual and yet I am ALL individuals. In fact, I am ALL there IS.

A Case of Mistaken Identity

If you are really wondering what this teaching is all about, it can be put simply as a case of mistaken identity. What is at the crux of the quest for the Truth is not so much about the nature of Truth. It is all about your identity. Yes, your identity. This identity of yourself that you so much believe in and are convinced of its authenticity. This identity that you have a name and a form, the body. This identity that you so proudly proclaim as "me" and "mine".

You can never know the Truth as such. What you can know is the false as false. In doing so, the Truth becomes self evident. You may now ask as to what exactly is false. Everything you know is false since the basic premise that you are an entity, an entity with a name and a body is false. Only by inquiring into the nature of this entity called "me" can you really unravel this mystery.  All the reading and listening is not going to unravel the mystery.  It is only when one starts to ponder over his or her own identity does the answer come all by itself.

Your True Nature is the Absolute where there is no "I".  There should be no doubt about your True Nature as the Absolute (Parabrahman) and all else is false as you will Realize as you continue to investigate into your identity. Now, because you consider yourself to be this body and mind, it would be appropriate to start right here and slowly unravel the mystery of your identity by going backwards. The body is inanimate and it does not say "I". To make this clear, a dead body does not proclaim "I am dead". So, there must be some other factor that gives rise to the impression of "I" or the knowledge of being, or the knowledge of existence. Let us call this knowledge, consciousness. It is this consciousness, which is formless, that is responsible for the sense of being. When this consciousness mistakenly (for ease of understanding) identifies itself with the body, it gives rise to the concept of being an individual, the "I" or "me". Having now identified itself with the body and thinking that it is indeed the body, and having created this concept of being a person or individual, there is a feeling of separation and suffering or the feeling of something missing. The consciousness identified as an individual (Jeeva) feels incomplete and starts the search for the missing bit of information that will give it satisfaction or bliss (ananda).  When the individual with the help of the Guru, comes to the clear conviction that all there is, is consciousness, then there is peace or contentment. When the individual realizes that the basic premise or idea of being an individual ("I" or "me") is false, and that the Real Self is none other than the consciousness, it is called Self Realization.  In effect, the individual has disappeared in favor of the Real Self. It is only when the "I" disappears that the Real Self becomes evident.

Find out if you are individual and if so, what and where are you? Conviction comes with knowledge.  Know Thy Self.

Why Worship the Guru or God with Attributes

The seeker may come to the correct conclusion that Knowledge is the surest way to Self Realization. Of all the methods prescribed by the scriptures, the Path of Knowledge (jnana yoga) is the surest and shortest means of Self Realization.  You have all heard the message of Non-Duality and how the visible is not real. Having heard the message of Advaita from his Guru, the seeker comes to the correct conclusion that all that is visible or destructible or has attributes is unreal.  What surprises the disciple is when the Guru encourages and endorses the worship of the God with attributes (saguna Brahman). In fact, the Guru says that worship and devotion to God, with or without attributes (saguna or nirguna) is a must even for the disciple who has Realized, to stay established in the Knowledge of Non-Duality.

Nothing is more superior to Knowledge as you know by now. The disciple wants to know why after having experienced the Truth, should one continue along the path of Worship (Bhakti).  Having come to the realization that the Truth is without any attributes, why should one continue to worship that which has attributes? In fact, having attained the Ultimate Knowledge, why should one bother to pursue any spiritual practices at all, like worship of the Guru or God with attributes?  Why should one with Knowledge of That which is without attributes (which is the Reality), bow down to an idol or photograph or an idol of a God or Guru and accept that which is unreal?

In a previous essay, this author has discussed about devotion after realization (please refer to that essay).  Let it be clear, that there should be no doubt that the teachings of the Guru are the final authority. This is called faith and devotion to the Guru. Without this there is no hope for any seeker or disciple to attain Liberation.

Having said that, the seeker has a right to have his questions and doubts cleared. Now, please consider this carefully. Having acquired Knowledge and Realization, are you still doing things in life including your work, taking care of your family, their needs, your finances, your friends, and are you still participating in the activities of your family and society? Are you still eating meals, taking a bath, drinking water, cleaning the house, and taking care of your personal needs? If the answer is yes to all of the above questions, then why is it that you want to only exclude worship of the God with attributes? How come all other aspects of your life is accepted as real but not worship of the unreal God with attributes?

With your knowledge of discrimination, you know that all that is perceived is false, and yet you do not give up any of your activities.  You listen to and obey the orders of your boss at work, which is the same as bowing down to the boss. So, why is it that you want to give up the worship of God with attributes? What is wrong with bowing down to the photograph of a God in human form or a Guru in human form or for that matter any form including one with multiple arms and legs, or with an elephant head? Please answer this question with sincerity. Has the mortal Guru who is one with attributes,  not given you access to the Ultimate in Knowledge?  Why then would you not want to bow down to this mortal Guru? What kind of knowledge is this?

One who has pride in attaining the Knowledge and feels " I am great" does not have the True Knowledge. He is one who is still identified with the body.  Mind you, if there is no worship, there is no Knowledge (jnana). It is an indication of one who is still suffering from body-mind-identification. It is an identification of one who thinks "I am the doer".

So, never give up the worship of the Guru or the God with attributes. Start every action by remembering your God or Guru. Remember that God is the doer of all actions. By leaving all actions to a God with attributes, one slowly but surely becomes identified with That which is attribute-less and eventually realizes his True Nature, which is without any attributes whatsoever. May God bless you.

One Without Doubt

On the path to the Truth one may be considered to pass through various stages. In reality, no such stages exist, as you have always been, will be and can be none other than the Absolute.  Such descriptions are therefore relative in nature and should be considered as such. The seeker (mumukshu) is the earliest stage when one is interested in knowing the Truth and one who is willing to listen to the Master or Guru with keen interest. The Aspirant is one who has absorbed the teachings of the Guru and is adept in putting the teachings into practice. The Aspirant has intuitive knowledge and experience of the Truth or Self. The one who is well established in the Truth and has merged with the Absolute is the Sage or the Accomplished.

The Sage or the Accomplished has merged his identity with the Absolute. The Sage has banished all doubt about the nature of the Truth or his True Nature. The Sage is unmovable in his conviction about his True Nature. The difference between an Aspirant and the Sage is the complete absence of doubt in the Sage. When the Aspirant becomes doubt- free and has unfailing conviction, he may be recognized as a Sage.

Initially, the Aspirant may have some doubts about his experience of the Self or the nature of the Truth as heard from the Guru. But, upon continued contemplation (nidhidhyasana) on his True Nature, the Aspirant becomes doubt-free. Knowledge with doubt is false knowledge. Spiritual action carried out with doubt will not succeed in getting the seeker to his goal. Devotion with doubt is useless to the seeker and is a sign of a false devotee (Bhakta).  Spiritual life with doubt is utterly useless. Pilgrimages done with doubt are useless and serve to only increase the doubt. Living with doubt, gaining spiritual knowledge with doubt, and listening to the Guru with doubt are all useless and unlikely to result in achieving the spiritual goal of Liberation (mukti).  All greatness achieved by one with doubt is useless.

It is ridiculous for one with doubt to boast about his knowledge of the scriptures for such talk is rudderless and only amounts to meaningless babbling.  The one with doubt knows well that there is no satisfaction in this type of false knowledge and is indeed actually miserable in his own bondage.

True Knowledge is free of all doubt and is conviction itself.  So, how does one overcome doubt? Doubt can be overcome by continuous contemplation on the nature of one's own True Self. Doubt is overcome by complete faith in the Guru. Doubt is overcome by continuous discrimination between the true and the false.  Doubt is overcome by complete surrender to the Guru. Body identification leads to sustenance of doubt. One who is thoroughly convinced that he is indeed the Supreme Self is indeed the Sage. What attributes can you give to the Sage who has no form and has merged with the Absolute?

Only the Rare One

Please consider this as the blog for the month of November 2013.

Although the Knowledge of Nonduality and the Truth is freely available and accessible, it is but a few who will ever approach it with a sincere desire. A few curious people may be inclined to dig a little deeper into the subject matter. Most will listen to the teachings of non-duality with a detached interest and then subsequently completely forget about it.  Out of the many, perhaps one person may actually feel an unquenchable thirst to not rest until the Truth is realized. Such a one is indeed very rare and fortunate. Such a one may look and behave like any other individual but make no mistake that once one has a conversation with him/her, there is no doubt about the profundity of his/her statements and observations.  Only a Jnani will recognize another Jnani immediately. All others will perhaps hear out the Jnani and come away with either nothing or else an observation that the talk was "deep" or "way over my head".

Despite the obvious simplicity of these teachings, one may not comprehend what is being pointed to. The reasons are many, but the main ones are the persistent identification with the body, lack of unquestioned faith and trust in the Guru, lack of a sincere desire, looking for some sort of gain from this Knowledge, feeling of superiority over others even if the knowledge gained is limited,  failure to continue to be devoted to the Guru, lack of eternal gratitude to the Guru, lack of humility and lack of compassion for others who may not understand this teaching. Basically, most of these reasons point to the fact that one believes himself or herself to be an entity, a person, despite the repeated explanation by the Guru that you are NOT an entity and all that you really, really are is the limitless Consciousness.  Keeping the ego alive and well fed is perhaps a major cause for the Understanding not to occur.

But, the rare one will drop all objections and obstacles to allow for the pointers from the Guru to penetrate deep inside. With continuous nurturing, analysis and meditation over the teachings of the Guru and with a sense of deep gratitude and reverence towards the Guru, the rare one will develop a deep conviction about the Truth. Once, the teaching has taken root, it will continue to grow no matter what one does and does not do. Unlike other kinds of knowledge, this Knowledge of the Truth continues to grow and get stronger. To go around thinking that one is the body and the mind, despite all the instructions and teachings of the Guru is indeed foolish.

Enlightenment in Five Verses- Part Three

Please read the preceding parts of this blog before proceeding to read this one. This is Part Three.

Verse 2

ब्रह्मैवाह्मिदम जगच्च सकलं चिन्मत्रिविस्तारितं
सर्वं चैताद्विध्य्या त्रिगुनायोशेषं मया कल्पितम ।
इथं यस्य दृढा मतिः सुखतरे नित्ये परे निर्मले
चन्दलोअस्तु स तु द्विजोअस्तु गुरुरित्येषा मनीषा मम ॥ २

I am Brahman or pure consciousness. It is the pure consciousness that appears as this universe. This play of universe is conjured up by me because of ignorance (avidya) and expressed by the three Gunas or Attributes (sattva, rajas and tamas) of the mind. One who has attained this definite realization about Brahman, which is bliss itself, eternal, supreme and pure, is indeed my Guru, whether he is an outcaste or a brahmin. This is my conviction.

Verse 3

शास्वन्न्स्वरमेवा विश्वमखिलं निश्चित्य वाचा गुरोः
नित्यं ब्रह्म निरंतरं विमृशता निव्याज्शान्तात्मना ।
भूतं भावि च दुष्क्रुतं प्रदहता संविन्मये पावके
प्ररब्धाय समर्पितं स्वव्पुरित्येशा मनीषा मम ॥ ३

He who has come to the definite conclusion, after reflecting on his Guru's word, that the universe is permanently in a state of flux and change and is perishable; he who with a calm and pure mind constantly meditates on Brahman; he who has burnt all his past and future residual tendencies (vaasanas) in the fire of Pure Knowledge, submits his present body to live through and exhaust its present destiny, he alone is my Guru, whether he is an outcaste or a brahmin. This is my conviction.

This verse may need some explaining since the verse states that the enlightened person merely submits his or her body to the operation of Praarabdha Karma. You are probably already familiar with the concept of Karma. Karma can be loosely defined as the results of actions or the destiny based on actions. There are three categories of Karma. (1) Sanchita Karma - the accumulated results of actions in past births. (2) Praarabdha Karma - the results of past actions which have given rise to the present body and (3) Aagaami Karma - the results of actions performed in the present birth. For a person who upon contemplating on the words of the Guru has attained the Ultimate or Pure Knowledge of the Self, Sanchita and Aagaami karma (upto the time of attainment of Knowledge) are completely destroyed. After the dawn of Self Knowledge, any action performed does not produce any result in the form of merit or demerit. However, the second category of Praarabdha Karma is not destroyed upon attainment of Self Knowledge, and must be exhausted by living through the experiences of the present body. Once the Praarabdha Karma is exhausted, the body of the enlightened person falls and the jivanmukta (the one who is liberated while still having a body) becomes videhamukta ( one who is liberated after leaving the body).  Simply put, one who has attained Self Knowledge is no longer the Do-er of actions and hence there are no more merits or demerits attached to the actions of the body or mind, since he is neither the body nor the mind.

Verse 4

या तियार्न्ग्नार्देव्ताभिराह्मित्यांतः स्फुटा गृह्यते
यभ्दासा हृदयाक्ष्देहविश्या भांति स्वतोअचेतनाः ।
तां भास्यैः पिहितार्क्मंदाल्निभां स्फूर्ति सदा भावयन
योगी निवृत्मंसो हि गुरुरित्येषा मनीषा मम ॥ ४

The Self or pure consciousness is experienced as the "I" by all creature, plants, animals, humans and angels. It is by the Light of this pure consciousness that the inert and insentient body, mind and senses appear to be sentient. Just like the sun which illumines everything even if hidden behind a bank of clouds, the Self is concealed by the very mind, senses and body which it illuminates. The yogi, who with a quiet and calm mind always meditates on this Self, is my Guru. This is my conviction.

The sun is responsible for the production of clouds by evaporation of the water in the oceans. The clouds are visible because of the light of the sun. The same clouds may however hide the sun from our view. In the same way, the body, mind, and senses which owe their sentiency to the Self may conceal the Self by becoming absorbed in the world of objects. The Self can be realized by withdrawing the mind and senses from the external world.

Verse 5

यात्सौख्याम्बुधिलेश्लेशत इमे श्कद्यो निव्रुता
याच्चित्ते नितरां प्रशान्त्कालने लब्ध्वा मुनिनिर्व्रुतः ।
यस्मिन्नित्यासुखाम्बुधाऊ गलित्धिब्रह्मैव न ब्रह्मविद
यः कश्सित्सा सुरेंद्रव्न्दित्प्दो नूनं मनीषा मम ॥ ५

The yogi's mind experiences that Ocean of Bliss during moments of total stillness. That Ocean of Bliss is verily Brahman and a tiny droplet from which is sufficient to make Indra and others feel contented and happy. Such a person whose mind has become dissolved in this Ocean of Bliss is not a mere Knower of Brahman but Brahman itself.  Such a rare one whose feet are fit to be worshipped even by the King of Gods, he alone is my Guru. This is my conviction.

The knower of Brahman is one who knows that one is not the body-mind complex but Brahman itself. Hence, knowing Brahman means one who remains as Brahman.  In fact, everyone is Brahman, but they do not know it. It is not the attainment of a new state as such. Liberation or Moksha is nothing but removal of false identification with the body-mind complex. By removal of this false identification, one realizes one's own True Nature which is the infinite Ocean of Bliss, i.e. Brahman itself. In this classic example in advaita literature, a coiled up rope is mistaken for a snake when a man encounters a rope in the dim light of  dusk, and gets panicked. However, when the same rope is examined in bright light, it becomes evident that it is only a rope and not a snake.  It is not that the snake was there and it disappeared after examining the rope in light. There never was a snake to begin with and the whole idea was a creation of the mind. In the same way, one mistakenly thinks of oneself as a Jiva (individual) who is in bondage. But when one does self inquiry, it becomes evident that one always was and will be Brahman and it was just the wrong notion of being an individual that has disappeared in the light of knowledge. There never was an individual who is in bondage to begin with. It was just ignorance that created the concept of bondage and being an individual. Thus there is no such thing as bondage or liberation just like there never was any snake in the rope.

Enlightenment in Five Verses - Part Two

Please read part one of this blog before reading this part and subsequent parts.

Sri Shankara answers to the questions posed by the Chandala:

Verse 1

1.जग्रत्स्वप्न्सुषुप्तिषु स्फुत्तारा या संविदुज्ज्रुम्भ्ते
या ब्रह्मिदिपिपीलिकान्त्त्नुशु प्रोता जगत्साक्षिणी ।
सैवाहं न च दुश्यवास्त्विती दृढप्रज्ञापि यस्यास्ति चेत
चन्दलोअस्तु स तु द्विजोअस्तु गुरुरित्येषा मनीषा मम ॥ १ 

If a person has attained the firm knowledge that he is not the object of perception, but instead is the one Consciousness which illumines the three states of waking, dream and deep sleep, the one Consciousness which is the sole witness of the whole universe and is the one Consciousness which dwells in all bodies from that of the Creator Brahma to that of an ant, the he alone is my Guru, irrespective of whether he is an outcaste or a brahmin. This is my conviction.

Let us try to analyze this verse. Consciousness is present in all the three states of waking, dream and deep sleep. In the waking state, the physical body, the senses and the mind function and experience the external objects. In the dream state, the body and the senses do not function, but the mind creates objects and events and experiences them. In deep sleep, the body, the senses and the mind do not function but there is no doubt that consciousness is still present since one easily verifies upon waking up  that he or she was asleep.  Simply put, in the waking state, the presence of consciousness is obvious because of the experience of the external objects and in the dream state, the mind creates the objects and experiences them. In the deep sleep state, it may appear as if there is no experiencing, but the fact that you remember you slept happily, is the verification of the presence of experiencing.  One can remember only what one has experienced previously. It is therefore obvious that consciousness was present during deep sleep and both happiness and ignorance were experienced.  This one consciousness is the sole witness of all experiences as well as absence of experiences. This consciousness is the inner Self that dwells in all creatures and is the same, irrespective of the shape or form of the body of the creature. Thus, this one consciousness is the only subject. The external objects are perceived by the senses. The senses are perceived by the mind. The mind is perceived by consciousness or the Self. Thus, the Self or consciousness alone is the subject and everything else is an object of experience. The person who has realized that he is the Self (consciousness alone) and not the physical body, the mind, or the senses is an enlightened person and is my Guru. 

The labels of race, religion, caste, occupation, and creed are only illusory creations of the mind and in no way affect the Self or consciousness which is the same in all living beings. Similarly, differences in form or shapes is an illusion created by the mind, since the bodies of living creatures are made up of the same five elements (earth, fire, water, space and air) and therefore have no inherent difference. Just like space is space and there is no difference in the space contained within a pot made of gold versus the space contained in a pot made of clay, an enlightened person sees beyond the name and form and recognizes the one consciousness in all.