Happiness, Contentment and Suffering

Let us look at some basic issues afflicting mankind. Mankind is in constant search of happiness, not realizing that it is transient. Transient happiness will eventually lead to suffering. What he is really looking for is contentment, but doesn't know it. As a result there is suffering and this is what leads to continued seeking. In a question and answer format, let us now define some of these terms for further clarity. Yes, this may seem very basic to some advanced seekers and students of Advaita Vedanta. However, for most others it is an essential beginning step to inquiry into one's own identity. 

What is the difference between happiness and contentment? 

Happiness is a transient state of mind, an emotion that one experiences for a short period of time only. One mistakenly associates happiness to external objects. However, on careful analysis it becomes evident that happiness is experienced when the ego disappears and the mind is submerged in its Source. Happiness arises when a particular desire gets fulfilled and hence leaves one in a momentary state of desireless-ness. However, it is fleeting as another desire arises immediately. As a result, there is a (mistaken) impression that it is the object of desire that resulted in the happiness. This leads man to desire more of the same object thinking that more will lead to greater happiness. However, common sense experience tells one that more of the same object does not lead to more happiness. For example, you have a desire to eat ice cream and you eat one scoop and feel happy. You then think, maybe if I eat some more I will be more happy or satisfied. However, the second scoop and more scoops do not result in that and eventually you know what happens! 

On the other hand, contentment is a state of mind where there is peace. Not happiness, but peace. This happens when the mind realizes that the glass is already full. Nothing needs to be added or removed from the glass. Nothing needs to change. Everything is perfect as it IS. Hence, there is no pursuit of anything including pursuit of happiness. One is seeking nothing. One is wanting nothing. One does feel the need to discard anything. One does not say, " I don't like this" or "I like this". It is the perfect place to be. In fact, it is by Being that one finds contentment. Not being this or that. Just BEING!

Why does one want to be content?

Without realizing it, one wants to be content because it is his Natural State. Every one wants to be happy - permanently. It is the one desire of mankind that is common to everyone. However, as noted above, one doesn't know how to go about achieving the so called "permanent happiness". He equates it to something that can be "achieved" like everything else in life. Something that can be achieved through effort in the world of objects out there. As a result, one enters this never ending maze or matrix of chasing one object after the other, none of which result in the goal of "permanent happiness". As a result, one is constantly suffering. One thinks that there is something out there that will result in "complete satisfaction" and there will be no further desires. But, is it not a foolish desire to seek permanent happiness in a world of changing objects?  Permanence by its very definition means " no change".  What one really wants is "contentment". Not knowing this results in suffering. 

What is suffering?

Suffering is the state of mind, where one is not satisfied with what is. It is a state where one feels inadequate or incomplete. There is a feeling that something is missing and somehow if that missing thing or object or whatever can be obtained it would result in completeness or a state of "permanent happiness". Suffering is a main reason for one to search or seek in the first place. Almost always, one does not know what exactly they are seeking. They don't know what it is that is missing in their life. They have already earned a lot of wealth, a great name or fame, professional or career fulfillment, prosperity, good family, good health, a wonderful car and house, and great many awards and recognition. And YET, there is some inexplicable thing that is missing in life. The feeling of emptiness in the midst of plenty!! Everyone of us experiences this.

Why is this suffering created by the Creator? If He loves everybody, then why does He create suffering?

If the Creator or the Supreme did not create suffering, how else will mankind even bother to think about HIM? It is through the creation of suffering, that the Creator draws our attention towards HIM. After all, HE wants everyone of us to be content because HE loves us. If one has all that he or she needs (and there is no suffering) why would he or she even bother to seek HIM out? Suffering results in seeking. A confused man seeks an end to the suffering in the world of objects out there and hopes to bring an end to the suffering. He thinks that perhaps if I have more money, or fame, or greater achievement I will be complete and will not have to seek any more. Others may try to end the seeking through alcohol, drugs or relationships. 

So, who can say that they are not suffering? Only the one who no longer has to seek anything, anywhere or through any means, can experience an end to suffering. 

End to suffering = contentment with what IS. 

So, how does one go about starting to bring an end to suffering?

Simple question begs a simple answer. Remember that the One who Created suffering is the only One who can end it. All HE asks is for you to remember Him - always. Now that may seem easy, but is it? No! Why? Because, man is confused about his identity. All his life, he has pretended to be somebody or someone. He started out thinking he is a child, a son, a daughter.  Then he thought - "I am a student". Later, he took on the identity of his profession - " I am a doctor", or " I am an engineer" etc. Later still, he took on the identity of a lover, a husband, a father, a father-in-law, a grandfather, an old man etc. In fact, in a single day, he wears different identity hats. In fact, when asked he may happily accept all of the identities as himself or herself. "What is wrong with taking all the identities?" - he asks. The answer to that question is for the person to ask himself or herself this question - " Which of these identities wants an end to the suffering?" or "Which of these identities wants permanent happiness so that there is no more seeking of happiness?". A very sensible question, isn't it? For example - if a Computer Programmer asks a question regarding the code he is wanting to write. If instead of getting an answer to that question, someone comes along and gives him this response - "you should spend more time with your family instead of writing code." What?!! Makes no sense, doesn't it? Well, he gave him an answer as if he was asking him a question from the viewpoint of a husband or householder. 

A wise man may ask - "But wait, what if there is a permanent, unchanging identity behind all these identities? What if I have been confused about my identity all along?".

Where does the Guru come in all of this?

When a desperate, suffering man, after looking everywhere, seeking in all corners of the world, and finding no relief from suffering, and finally with sheer devotion and surrender asks the Creator for help, then the Guru is sent in to guide the suffering man with answers that would eventually bring an end to suffering. It is said that "When the student is ready, the Guru comes to the student". When the suffering seeker places complete faith in the teachings of the Guru, and surrenders fully to the Guru, the Guru who is all compassionate bestows the Knowledge upon the suffering seeker and thus brings about an end to the suffering. 

It is obvious that it is only when one surrenders the ego, which is the mind, to the Guru that one gets the ultimate Knowledge of one's own identity. Hanging on to one's ego and identity as a person and then making effort to find contentment is bound to result in failure. Giving up one's identity as a person ( knowing the ego is a ghost and non-existent) and surrendering completely in favor of the Guru is the easiest way to achieve contentment, which is nothing other than JUST BEING.

The Guru and Creator are one and the same. 

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Are we all not familiar with the statement ' Don't worry, be happy'?  Yet, are you really, really happy? And then, what exactly is happiness you may say.  Obviously, to each individual the definition of happiness will be different and vary with the conditions and multiple factors. In short, the underlying equation can be summed up as happiness is present when the wants of a person are met. However, in your observation of the world around you, would you agree that when the wants of a person are met there is happiness? Obviously, not.  For when a particular want has been satisfied, there is soon another want or need.  Suppose, you want a really nice big house and you recently won the lottery and actually end up buying a nice big house of your choice, would that be the end of your suffering? Maybe so, for a short period of time. Thereafter, you are back to square one. Which is wanting something else and still suffering as a result thereof.  It soon becomes obvious that searching for permanent or unchanging happiness in this world of changing objects and conditions and environment is futile, since one has no control whatsoever over these changing world. Next, the wants and needs are infinite, including wanting happiness (which in itself is a need and want). Yes, you may portray an image of happiness and contentment, and on asking some people may actually say that they are happy. What they mean is that they are happy at present but cannot testify to that fact at a later time or date. For the one who says he is happy today may have a major tragedy befall him and there goes his state of happiness.


It becomes obvious that no state is permanent or eternal. All states including the state of happiness are transient. So, that brings us back to the question of what exactly do you mean by 'Don't worry, be happy'?  It depends on how you interpret it. The statement itself would have to be split up into two separate statements.

First, let us discuss the statement 'Don't worry' since it seems to precede the next statement of 'be happy'.  Perhaps, not worrying may be a prerequisite to being happy?!! Can you ever be eternally worry free? Not likely. At the least even a very happy person will eventually worry about his pending death and the pain and suffering associated with death. So, how can you be free of worry?  Firstly, worry is nothing but a thought.  A thought that arises spontaneously.  And since you identify yourself with the thoughts you take ownership of the thoughts (worries included). There is no way anyone can be free of worry as long as there is association of one's identity with the body and the mind. In the mind, the thoughts are endless and constantly welling up one after the other. Even if one meditates, there is no question that as soon as one finishes the session of meditation and returns to the surrounding environment, there will be multiple thoughts and as a result worries of some nature or the other.  Anyone who has practiced meditation and yoga would testify to the extreme difficulty and virtual impossibility of permanently controlling thoughts. And that is because thoughts will continue to arise based on vasanas (the only English word that comes close to describing this is "impressions"). To avoid diversion, we will not go into the discussion of vasanas for now. The only way out is for one to inquire into 'who is worrying?'. That brings us back to establishing your real identity. Once it becomes clear that the thoughts are not who you are, then the question of worry does not arise. Since, worries are nothing but thoughts, as soon as one realizes that he or she is not thoughts but one who is aware of thoughts, the worries automatically cease. Therefore, Knowledge remains your only hope. Knowledge of who you really, really are. Once established in this Knowledge of your True Identity, although thoughts may arise, there is no association with them, leaving you to revel in the peaceful oneness with your own self.



Now, we will discuss the other half of the statement "be happy". Actually, when the first part of the statement is clarified and one becomes established in one's own True Nature, the second part is automatic.  Once you stop worrying, where is the question of worrying about being happy?  There is no question of one being eternally happy. One is automatically happy being one's own self. Just Being is being happy. As soon as you be someone, then there are all sorts of states of mind to which you are attached. That is because, being this or that or someone involves being associated with the thoughts or the mind. Happiness is your True Nature. There is no question of a "me" being eternally happy. As soon as there is a "me" (an entity with a name and form, a someone), there are all sorts of emotions that this "me" can attach itself to and hence the happiness is also transient.  Remember, being me is unhappiness. Just being is happiness.

The Goal of Desire is to be Desireless

The goal of every desire is to be desireless. Let us study this statement closely. When there is a desire, the mind is agitated and cannot focus on anything else other than the desire itself. For instance, if one wants to drink a cup of coffee, the thoughts are constantly on how to get the cup of coffee. The thoughts lead to actions that will fulfill the desire. One thought leads to another and the goal is to get the cup of coffee and consume it. Till the desire is fulfilled or replaced by another desire, it will constantly occupy the focus of attention of the mind. Once the cup of coffee is in the hand and a sip of it is consumed, then there is contentment. Yes, the contentment or happiness may be fleeting but it is there because the desire was fulfilled. In that moment of happiness, there is no desire or there is desirelessness (only until another desire arises!). Therefore, it can be concluded that desirelessness is equal to happiness and vice versa. The goal of every desire is to lead up to this desirelessness (happiness or contentment), which is our True Nature. One experiences this state of happiness or desirelessness every day, but the mind interprets the happiness to be due to the attainment of the object of desire and not to the fact that for that fleeting moment there are no desires (or desirelessness). Because of the misinterpretation of this state of happiness, the mind is constantly chasing desires thereby resulting in a state of constant seeking. The mind gives the impression that someday or sometime, there will be no further desires to be fulfilled and then there will be contentment.

But, desirelessness is actually our True Nature and it is present right here and right now. It is a state of peace and contentment. Once, one realizes that the state of desirelessness is indeed one's True Nature, the seeking stops immediately. It is just a matter of Understanding which leads one to Realization.