We all start off as seekers. Some realize their true nature, thanks to the teachings of their Guru, and stop seeking. Some seekers having heard the words of their Guru seem to have the understanding of the teachings. Yet, they continue to remain seekers despite the understanding. Yes, it is imperative for one to be a seeker (mumukshu) at the start of the journey. That is what sparks the one-pointed desire to know the Truth. Yet, is it not the goal of every seeker to eventually end the process of seeking?
Each and every one of us is different, as different as the fingerprints. Hence, the process of realizing the Truth is different for each and every one of us. There can be several reasons as to why the process of seeking continues for many a seeker.
One of many reasons, is the desire of the seeker to experience an event similar to that of their Guru, prior to realizing the Self. Despite the Guru repeatedly pointing out that they should disregard all experiences as appearances in consciousness, and of no relevance, they still continue to hope and yearn for an experience or event. In some cases, such a problem is perpetuated by some teachers, who may keep the seeker in a perpetual cycle of feeling inadequate and incomplete. The teacher may imply that he/she has somehow attained enlightenment or realization through a process and after experiencing an "aha moment". Hearing this and knowing that they have not had a similar experience, the seeker feels inferior to the teacher or somehow inadequate or incomplete. Hence the feeling among the seekers that they too have to go through a similar process and experience an event sometime in the future. They also have the false idea that such an experience is permanent and results in eternal and everlasting bliss. The seeker cannot be entirely blamed for having such an impression. After all, many a teacher creates an impression of being always in bliss and unperturbed by the events of the world.
Yet others may simply like the idea of continuing to be seekers in perpetuity. Although this seems ludicrous, many seekers either knowingly or unknowingly, like the sense of community and shared goals with other seekers. They internally acknowledge that realizing the Truth may result in the end of their being part of a community of seekers. They are afraid of being abandoned and shunned by the very community that they so lovingly embraced. After all envy is expected if one seeker declares that he/she has realized while others are still in the throes of struggle and suffering.
In some others, the little self (or ego) fools the seeker into thinking that he/she may never attain realization as it is reserved only for the fortunate few who have completed certain rigorous rituals or difficult processes of purification of the body and mind over the course of many decades. And yet others may be under the false impression that enlightenment or self- realization if at all possible, is something to be achieved or attained sometime in the future.
Some seekers are just too obsessed or happy with the image of themselves (as whatever) and do not want to actually give up their concept of being an individual. This is particularly true in societies where individuality is given top priority.
It is evident that there are two main culprits among many, for perpetuating the seeking. The first culprit is the false "I-thought" or the ego, which fearful of losing its validity, will play all kinds of games and scenarios in the mind of the seeker, to prevent the seeker from SEEING the Truth. The ego knows that realizing the Truth would spell the end of the ego. Such is the hold of the ego that even after apparent understanding of the reality, it continues to produce doubts and feelings of uncertainty, thereby ensuring its survival.
The other culprit is the concept of time. Time is a concept in the mind and has no reality. The concept of time gives the seeker the false impression that what he/she is seeking is not available right here and right now. The concept of time creates the impression that what is being sought can only be attained in the future through a prescribed process of doing. This sets up the seeker into refusing to believe his Guru, even when the Guru clearly explains that "what you are seeking,you already ARE".
While it is easy for some teachers to say "Just stop seeking, right here and right now", it may not ring a bell for the seeker. Even if they agree with the teacher and nod their heads, they may return home to realize that their suffering and seeking has actually not stopped. In fact, the ego has made a comeback with a vengeance. The more the seeker claims that the seeking has ended, the more the ego swells and ensures that the seeking has actually not ended. Many a times, even the seeker is unaware of the falseness of his or her claims.
There is no denying the fact that only when one starts seeking does one find. Hence, being a seeker is essential for all and as such is not avoidable. After all, seeking can in itself be frustrating if there is no goal or end in sight. But how to end the seeking?
It is important to realize that the end of seeking is different for each and every seeker. There is no "one size fits all" in realizing the Truth. Clarity comes from within to see the false as false. Realize once and for all, that there is nothing to attain or achieve. Have resolute and unwavering FAITH and DEVOTION in the Guru and constantly keep the Guru in your mind. While these may seem like yet another prescription for doing or a process, remember that the destination is the journey. As the Zen Buddhist saying goes, "before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water".
Even the seeker claiming enlightenment or clarity is none other than a false appearance claiming to have figured out that the false is false. The ever present Awareness always IS and remains unchanged and you ARE that ordinary Awareness. Only the apparent appearances in this Awareness play this game of seeking and finding. Go figure!
