What exactly is Awareness?

O.K., so what is Awareness? It is an odd question to ask. Because Awareness is everywhere. In fact, there is no one who is reading this article who can with any certainty say that he/she is not aware at this very moment. Can you say "I am not" at this very moment? So, what exactly is this Awareness? It is not uncommon for a seeker to feel "I am so frustrated, because I cannot get this Awareness. How come the other guy gets it and I don't". The irony is that you already ARE that Awareness! "If I am already Awareness, how come I don't feel like it?", is another question that arises in the mind of the seeker. Let us explore some of these questions in further detail.

Awareness is NOT an object to be obtained. That is the first and most important thing to understand. Every object is nothing but a thought. The mind cannot conceive of any object unless it occupies space and time. Also, all objects are labeled and named. This helps the mind to categorize all thoughts. When the mind cannot put a word or thought in the category of an object(with form and shape), then it puts it in the category of abstract thought. But, it is still a thought. For instance, a word like presence or awareness, is just an abstract thought and not an object. You know you are present and aware. But when asked to describe your presence, you cannot put it in any form or shape. It just means that 'presence'. Yet, the mind still wants to put it in a category like everything else and then one feels that 'presence' has some objective nature, feels like it is another 'thing'. Can you grasp 'presence'? No. Yet, you know you are present, here and now. In the same way, Awareness is not some-'thing' to be attained. IT cannot be negated, attained, denied, grasped, or categorized.

The mind works by dividing and by contrasting. When one thinks of black, it means the opposite of white. When one says happy, the mind immediately puts it in a category of 'not-sad'. In the same way all thoughts are categorized into opposites. All this is happening subconsciously and therefore not noticed unless one investigates the very nature of the mind. The mind divides every thought into a 'Subject thought' and an 'Object thought'. When an object is seen, the mind immediately puts it into 'I am seeing'. The mind has divided just seeing, into a 'subject-I' and an 'object-seen'. The mind divides just seeing into a see-er and the seen. Feeling into Feel-er and the felt. Perceiving into perceiv-er and perceiv-ed. Of course, one does not go on saying in the mind, "I am seeing" or "I am reading", but the 'I' is subconsciously there in the background of every thought, and one feels like there is an entity that is doing the seeing and the reading. This 'I' is taken for granted and never questioned!! Actually, without this mind dividing into subject and object, all is just happening. Happening where? Happening in Awareness. All is appearing in Awareness. Without Awareness, there can be no-happening.

So, basically, since Awareness is not some 'thing', how can the mind ever know it? The only way is by being IT. Awareness can also be called Presence or Awareness of Presence or Presence of Awareness for ease of understanding. What does being IT , mean? Being IT means that one cannot be any-thing other than IT. Uh? Yes, that is precisely the meaning. So, that boils down to the primary question as to "Who is this 'I' that wants to know Awareness?". Interesting, that all discussions eventually lead to identifying the nature of this 'I', isn't it? It is imperative to know the 'questioner' who is asking this question "what is Awareness?". This investigation into the nature of who we really, really are is the very essence of the quest for Awareness.

We take ourselves to be a separate individual not realizing that the 'individual' is nothing but an appearance in that Awareness. For instance, at this very moment, if I ask "who are you?", you may give me an answer "I am John". But, could you give me that answer if you were not aware and present first? So, the correct answer would be "I am aware. I am John"! So, you have already unknowingly given away your true identity, which is Awareness! But, for ease of communication, one does not go on saying "I am aware, I am doing this thing today---" and so on. Forgetting that you are first and foremost AWARE, before any thought can arise in the mind, is all that it takes to realize your true nature. At this very moment, you are first and foremost AWARE, and then aware of reading this article. The sequence is always 'Aware'--'I-thought'--'I am reading'. It becomes obvious, that before any thought there is always the primary thought of an 'I'. This 'I-thought' assumes subjectivity and then claims ownership of all actions and further thoughts. But, knowing that this 'I' is only a thought, and like all thoughts has no permanence, it immediately vanishes on questioning its validity. In the absence of the 'I-thought', the sequence then becomes 'Aware'--'reading', which can be translated into 'reading is happening in Awareness' or 'reading is happening'. Everything is therefore just happening. Seeing is happening. Talking is happening. Listening is happening. Thinking is happening. There is no-one seeing, talking, listening, thinking etc. If the 'subject thought' is realized to be just a thought, then where is the question of a do-er of any action? Can a thought do any action?

That brings one back to the entity that is asking "what is Awareness?". KNOWING that there is no entity called 'I' (remember the 'I' is just a thought), who is asking the question? The 'questioner' is also just a thought! Like all thoughts, the thought of the 'questioner' has no substance, no permanence, and no independent nature (meaning there can be no thoughts without one being Aware first). So, all this time, this whole process of questioning, investigating, is nothing but thoughts; thought of an imaginary questioner asking questions!! KNOWING this, what is left? Only AWARENESS! THAT Awareness IS always there (whether a 'you' likes it or not!!). When thoughts ARE, Awareness IS. When thoughts ARE NOT, Awareness still IS. When one drops this notion (yes, only a notion) of an 'I' (a false subject), no 'questioner'(a false subject) remains, yet Awareness still IS. That is what is meant by Being IT. Not being this or that, but just being being.

So, who wants to know?

Who has the knowledge?

In this blog as elsewhere, it is pointed out that knowledge is the only method of dispelling ignorance. Ignorance is the main cause of suffering as pointed out by all the ancient sages; Ignorance of the fact that one is not an individual, or the 'I-thought'. Accepting the false belief that one is an individual entity with some substance and independent nature, an entity with a center in the body or the mind, is the cause of all suffering. However, if after a thorough and sincere inquiry, one comes to the conclusion that there is no entity here with a center whatsoever, one becomes free from this suffering. There is no longer any suffering as there is no entity for the suffering to latch onto. However, repeated enforcement of this understanding is required, as years of conditioning of the mind results in repeated emergence of this false belief of an individual.

Often with the advent of the knowledge of one's True Nature, there may be pride in the same. This pride is an obstacle. One must ask as to who can claim to have knowledge. It immediately becomes clear that there is no entity here that can claim ownership of any knowledge. All there is, is the ever present Knowing. In the absence of any entity, where is the question of ownership of either knowledge or ignorance. Knowledge and ignorance are both at the level of the mind. Whereas, what you really, really are is beyond the mind. Hence, one must put aside all pride, even the pride of having seen through this ignorance of who we are. Giving up this pride of having the knowledge is a significant obstacle to overcome and many are stuck at this level. With pride comes the emergence of the ego with a vengeance.

In my Absolute state, I am one without any pride, any question of knowledge or ignorance. I am beyond both knowledge and ignorance, where there is no knowing-ness or absence of knowing-ness. I remain as THAT, the Absolute.